What's Inside a Genie's Turkey?

 (photo by Don Purcell,  Dreamstime.com)

I don't want to miss my last chance until next year to tell Thanksgiving turkey jokes!

What's inside a Genie's turkey?  three wishbones

What's a baby turkey called?  a peeping tom

What's big and green and goes "Gobble, Gobble?"  Turkey-saurus Rex

What did the turkey say before it was roasted? " Boy! I'm stuffed."

What did the little turkey say to the big turkey?  "Peck on someone your own size."

Why did the police arrest the turkey?  It was suspected of fowl play.

Why did the turkey bolt down his food?  Because he was a gobbler.

Why did they let the turkey join the band?  Because he brought the drumsticks.

What was little Timmy thankful for on Thanksgiving Day?  That he wasn't a turkey.

Why did the turkeys go to the movies?  They wanted to see Gregory Peck.

Why would you want to cross a turkey with an octopus?  So the kids don't have to fight over who gets the drumsticks.

Why did the farmer wash the turkey's mouth out with soup?  Because he used fowl language.

Can you add a turkey joke?  Please comment!     (Santa jokes coming soon!)

The Unfortunate Turkey

 (Cartoon by Tony Sarrecchia)

Think of what the unfortunate turkey has to endure.

First, it has the reputation of being the original "bird brain," as though brain size and intellect go together.  They don't, regardless of the misconception that they do.

Then there's the common myth that says turkeys are so dim, they'll look skyward during a rainstorm and drown!  That's not true, either.

And what do we call people when we want to insult them or imply they are stupid?  That right, we call them turkeys!  We don't say, "You robin"  or "You ostrich."  We'd never say,  "You peacock" or "You sparrow." But we say,  "You turkey."  Fortunately, the accusation of being a turkey is often said fondly rather than maliciously.

Children are singing turkey songs this time of year. Sometimes the turkeys are fortunate, but more often they're not.

Five Fat Turkeys

Five fat turkeys are we.

We spent all night in a tree.

When the cook came around,

We were nowhere to be found

And that's why we're here, you see!

The Turkey Song

I'm a little turkey

Short and fat.

Thanksgiving Day is coming,

Now what do you think of that?

I had better run as fast as I can,

Or your mommy will roast me in a pan!

If  Turkeys Thought

If turkeys thought, they'd run away.

A week before Thanksgiving Day.

But turkeys can't anticipate,

And so there's turkey on my plate!

Did You Ever See a Turkey

 Did you ever see a turkey,

A turkey, a turkey.

Did you ever see a turkey

Run this way and that?

He runs, and he runs.

But he won't get away.

He is going to be my dinner on Thanksgiving Day!  

Preparing a Thanksgiving Turkey, By Second Graders

(photo by Niderlander, Dreamstime.com) 

I asked my second grade class to write about how they would prepare a turkey for Thanksgiving.  Maybe the rest of us have been doing it wrong all these years!

 

You buy a turkey at the store.  It should be dead.  If not, hit it over the head. Then take out the yucky stuff.  Use some of it in the gravy. If the turkey is real big, cook it for a whole hour.  If it is not so big, just a few minutes will be enough.  It will smell good.  Then Dad and Uncle Mike fight over who cuts it. 

Take a 150 pound turkey and pour gravy over it.  Put in a 10 degree oven for 5 minutes.  Serve with pie and ice cream.  Then call everyone to eat.  Oh, and keep the biggest piece of pie for yourself.

 

Tell Grandpa to take off all the feathers.  Then clean it in soapy water.  Put dressing inside the big hole.  Cook for 15 minutes or until done.  Set the table.  Grandma will give you a leg!

Home cooking, for sure!  

Makes You Glad You Have Left Over Turkey

(photo by Darren Fisher, Dreamstime.com)

What-To-Do-With-Left-Over-Turkey Salad

Ingredients:
large bowl of greens of your choice
2 cups left-over cooked turkey pieces
1 cup cranberries
1/2 cup pecans 

Dressing:
1 cup whole berry cranberry sauce
2 tablespoons vinegar
1 tablespoon sugar
1 cup feta cheese, crumbled
1/2 cup oil

Directions:
Blend cranberry sauce, vinegar, sugar and half of the feta cheese in a blender. Slowly add oil.
Place greens on plate and top with turkey, pecans, cranberries. Pour dressing over this mixture. Sprinkle remaining feta cheese over top.

Delicious Any Time of the Year

It doesn't have to be a holiday to enjoy Cranberry Orange Bread. This recipe also makes perfect muffins.

(photo by Andrea Skjold, Dreamstime.com)

Ingredients for Cranberry Orange Bread or Muffins:

2 cups flour
1/2 cup packed brown sugar
1 tablespoon baking powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon grated orange peel
1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg
1 cup cranberries
1 cup vanilla yogurt
1 cup milk
1 tablespoon white distilled vinegar

In a large bowl, combine the first six ingredients. Fold in cranberries.
Add vinegar to milk; then combine with yogurt. Stir into dry ingredients just until moistened.
If making bread, pour into greased bread pan.
If making muffins, fill greased muffin cups or paper-lined muffin cups 2/3 cups full. (makes one dozen)
Bake at 400 degrees for 18 to 20 minutes. Cool for 5 minutes before removing to wire rack.

Their Popularity is Soaring, So Know and Love Them!

(photo by Galyna Andrushko,  Dreamstime.com)

Tart . . . Tangy . . . we used to think of cranberries only as something that appeared as a sauce on the table on Thanksgiving.

Grandma, and maybe Aunt Betty, were the only people who actually ate much of it, though.

But now, you can find these red beauties being used in cereal . . . yogurt . . . bagels . . . cookies . . . soft drinks . . . salads . . . energy bars . . . cakes . . . breads . . . turkey, pork, chicken, and ham main dishes . . . and candy (with chocolate!).

And you can probably easily add some more to this list.

New recipes using fresh, frozen, or dried berries are popping up in cookbooks and the internet and quickly becoming favorites.
Here are two of my favorites.

Cranberry Glazed Hamballs

Mix and form into balls:

1-1/2 lb ham loaf mix

1-1/2 cups bread crumbs

2 eggs

1/2 cup milk

Dressing:

3/4 cup brown sugar

1/4 cup apple cider vinegar

1/4 cup water

1 can sliced pineapples

1/4 cup juice from pineapples

1 cup whole cranberry sauce

Place pineapple slices on bottom of pan.  Add ham balls.  Mix remaining dressing ingredients together and pour on top of ham balls.  Bake one hour at 325 degrees.

Cranberry Sweet and Sour Pork

4 pork chops or small pork roast
1/2 cup water
1 can pineapple chunks with juice
1/4 cup brown sugar
2 tablespoons cornstarch
1/4 cup cider vinegar
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons worcestershire sauce
1 can whole cranberry sauce
1 small onion, chopped

Brown pork in small amount of oil. Add water and cover and simmer until tender, about 1 hour.
Drain pineapple and mix rest of ingredients with juice in saucepan. Cook and stir until mixture thickens.
Then combine pork, pineapple, and juice mixture and cook a few minutes until bubbly. Serve over rice.

My New Favorite May Soon Be Yours, Too!

 

(photo by Elena Elisseeva,  Dreamstime.com)

Today I have off from work because of an appointment.  Since I didn't have the usual breathless rush to get to work on time, I decided to try a new recipe for breakfast, Cranberry Doughnuts.

I like cranberries anyway, but I am sure you will like this recipe even if you aren't a cranberry person.  I made a few mistakes that have nothing to do with the recipe.  For instance, I burned my finger by getting it too close to the hot fat (I do know better!).  And the first few doughnuts weren't done in the center because I was impatient and took them out too soon.  But other than that, my breakfast was a big hit, and this recipe is definitely a keeper!

I got it out of the October/November/95 Country magazine. It was submitted by Roberta Archer, Passadumkeag, Maine.  Thanks, Roberta, for sharing!  I can see why it was a winner.  It's easy, too.

Cranberry Doughnuts

1 egg

1/2 cup sugar

1 tablespoon butter or margarine, melted

1-1/2 cups all-purpose flour

2 teaspoons baking powder

1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon

1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg

1/4 teaspoon salt

1/2 cup milk

1/2 cup chopped fresh or frozen cranberries

Oil for deep-fat frying

Additional sugar

Directions:  In a bowl, beat egg; add sugar and butter.  Combine flour, baking powder, cinnamon, nutmeg and salt; add to sugar mixture alternately with milk.  Stir in cranberries.

Heat oil in an electric skillet or deep-fat fryer to 375 degrees.  Drop tablespoonfuls of batter into oil.  Fry doughnuts a few at a time, turning with a slotted spoon until golden, about 2 minutes per side.

Drain on paper towels; roll in sugar while still warm. (I rolled some in granulated sugar, and some in confectioner sugar).  Yield: 1-1/2 dozen.  These won't last long, better make two batches!

Pumpkin Pizazz

If you are looking for a new pumpkin dessert, don't overlook this recipe!  I've had it for a long time and have made it again and again.  I don't remember where I got it, so I'm sorry I cannot give credit to the person with such good taste who gave it to me!   (photo by  Galyna Andrushko, Dreamstime.com)

Pumpkin Pizazz

2-1/2 cups finely crushed gingersnaps

1/2 cup butter or margarine, melted

1 package (8 oz) cream cheese, softened

1/2 cup confectioners' sugar

2 tablespoons milk

Topping:

3 cups cold milk

2 packages (3.4 ounces each) instant vanilla pudding mix

1 can (15 ounces) solid-pack pumpkin

2-1/2 teaspoons pumpkin pie spice

2 cups whipped topping

Directions
Combine gingersnap crumbs and butter and press into ungreased 13 x 9 inch baking pan.

Bake at 325 degrees for 10 minutes.  Cool.

In a mixing bowl, beat the cream cheese, confectioners' sugar and milk until fluffy.  Spread over the crust.  In another mixing bowl, beat milk and pudding mix for 1 minute.  Add pumpkin and pie spice; beat until well blended.  Fold in whipped topping.  Spread over cream cheese layer.

Refrigerate for at least 3 hours.  Cut into squares.  Garnish with additional whipped topping.